I told you once that I was going to do something for you because of what you’ve done for me. I was waiting for inspiration to strike, but I realized that nothing in the world happens unless you make it happen. And you, Tanner, are all the inspiration I need.
I’ve spent the majority of my life feeling like I wasn’t whole. I thought that maybe if I were in love, or if I just met the right person, that that feeling would go away. It took me a long time to realize that being in a relationship with someone is not about making each other whole. It’s about two fully realized, fully unique individuals coming together to create something new. It’s about bringing the best out of each other, not fixing each other.
I don’t know how to let someone care about me. I don’t know how to truly put another person’s needs before my own. I don’t know how to be the perfect boyfriend, or say all the right things. To share just enough, to need you but not be too needy, to care for you but also take care of myself. And that’s terrifying. I live with a constant fear that I am going to mess this up. But when I stop, and I think about you, how I feel about you and how you make me feel, I realize that none of that matters. Because you are someone who I want to make mistakes with. Who I want to be vulnerable with, and say the wrong things to, and annoy with my character defects and my eccentricities.
You are one of the sweetest, most passionate and sincere men I have ever met. I promise to always be honest with you, because I care about your happiness just as much as I care about mine. I have no idea what’s going to happen, but I know that no matter what, I’ll be okay with it. Because I’m already a better person for having known you.
-Your loving boyfriend